We can have so many grand dreams and goals for ourselves, but if we continue to let fear dictate us, we’ll never achieve them. A great extinguisher of fear is faith—faith in yourself, your life, and the world, which consequently creates the confidence we need to pursue what we want. In this episode, David Adelson talks to confidence expert, Moira Shepard of Confidence Here and Now, about the real reason why you need confidence and faith and the steps to get them FAST. As the world continues to become even more uncertain, we need to anchor on the faith and confidence in ourselves to stay sane and be effective in this world. Don’t let fear paralyze you from taking action. Let Moira guide you out of it and into your confident self in this conversation. What is more, check out her giveaway, Your Confidence-Building Playbook: 3 Power Moves to Share Your Gifts with the World at HTTP://www.confidencebuildingplaybook.com.
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How To: Get More Confidence…FAST With Moira Shepard
And The Real Reason You Need It
We are going to be talking with Moira Shepard about several things, including building confidence and how to build it fast and quick. Most importantly, we want to talk about faith. Welcome, Moira. What do you feel is the most important benefit of having faith in yourself and in the future?
I think the most important benefit of having faith in yourself and in the future is that it gives you more peace of mind on a day-to-day basis. Often, when you feel uncertain about what’s next and what’s coming, you tend to shut down, play small and do as little as possible for fear of making a mistake that you can’t rectify in an uncertain time. In times like what we’re living in, it can bring out the best in us. The way that happens is when we start having more faith in ourselves and in life.
This is what we’re going to be talking about and not just the theory about it, but we are going to be talking about steps you can take to build faith in yourself, your life and the world. I want to read a little bit here and tell people who you are. Confidence Expert Moira Shepard, received a calling to heal the world when she had been confined to bed by a back injury for seven years. The call jump-started her journey to a successful career, helping coaches, healers, speakers, and writers to build the confidence they need to share their gifts. Her new book is Love Your Way to Success: Five Keys to Confidence for Creative Women Entrepreneurs. Men can’t use it, I guess.
They can use it. Self-doubt and uncertainty are part of the human condition. What I’ve found is that women, in particular, have challenges around confidence that men never have to deal with. I’ve never met a man who says, “I hate my thighs, I don’t feel worthy of charging money for spiritual work.” I’ve never heard a man that said.
I’ve heard men say that all the time.
A lot of that going around and the material in the book can help men or women. It’s just, women are more likely to turn to ask for help when they’re having a challenge in confidence. Men often try to play alone hand and that’s okay. I respect the process. I’m focusing on helping the people who are most open to being helped.Faith is one of the most important aspects of life; it edges out the fear and allows us to act. Click To Tweet
I will agree, even though I heard men say that, they don’t always reach out for help. I want to talk about this faith thing. I’m a meditation teacher. Years ago, one of the key things that I learned is that for one to advance and progress, one has to have faith in oneself that you can do it. One has to have faith in whoever’s teaching you, whether it’s a mentor or guru that they have the knowledge and the ability to get you where you need to go. The third level of faith, which is you have to have faith in God or whatever you want to call that life of the world that you’re being protected, that there’s a reason that everything works out in the end. That’s what saves your psychology during the times when things are going very crazy in the world. What I want to talk to you about is A) Do you concur? B) Let’s get into step when people can take to help develop faith because a lot of people’s faith have been shaken in so many ways for the last decades.
Faith is one of the most important components of the way you approach life. When you have faith, it starts edging out the natural fear that most of us have when something new and strange happens, when something unfamiliar starts unfolding, when plans don’t go the way you thought they would. These are all things that can make us lose faith in ourselves, in our future, in life, in God and Science which is greater than yourself. That’s essential to stay the same and to be effective in the world because without faith, it’s very hard to take action.
I realized that doesn’t come off in a show. You have to have faith that there is something that making sense, that there is a happy ending at the end that everything is working to justify things that there’s a reason for what’s going on. When I was growing up, one of the challenges that I had was I got from my mother. She found it very hard to trust or believe in God because she could see children being born with debilitating diseases. She said, “What kind of god would do that?” That made sense her argument against it. I didn’t believe it. I understood the argument, but I thought there was some missing ingredient. In my early twenties, when I started meditating, doing piano and became a teacher, I learned about karma and reincarnation. As soon as you put those two things in there, which turned out were originally in the Bible
It was part of the things that Christ taught, but it got taken out in the 300 or 400, we don’t need to go there. As soon as you put those things in, then it makes sense. If somebody gets on the bus, then they’d get off the bus, we’d have a very limited view of their entire life. Whatever happened on the bus may or may not make sense. If you could see the whole journey, you can see, “They went to the shop and they get this,” “They get this thing that maybe what’s mistake.” That’s an important part of understanding faith. Let’s cut to the chase. If somebody comes to you and says, “I don’t have faith in myself. I didn’t have faith in my future.” How do you work with them? What information do you give them? What did you do here?
What I invite them to do is to get real with their feelings. First of all, to acknowledge, “I’m losing faith, so I’m feeling frightened. I’m feeling uncertain about the future. I’m worried that something bad is going to happen that I’m not going to be able to handle. I feel like I’m in this alone.” I dig down a little on what exactly is frightening you because I’ve found in the work that I do, which is an energy healing that involves quantum physics, is that when you observe something, it automatically starts to heal.
I just bring their concerns and bring their emotions into the middle of the room as it were, and just acknowledge, “These are the feelings that I’m feeling. They’re not comfortable. I don’t like it, but here they are.” What I’ve learned, is that feelings are like smoke signals from your unconscious mind saying, “You need to look at this.” I say, “Let’s look at this.” I treat the emotions and the person with respect and that in itself is very healing. I never tried to talk out of their feelings. I never tried to explain to them, “You shouldn’t feel like that,” or, “You shouldn’t look at things that way.”
I find that incredibly disrespectful and does more damage than healing, which is what I’m all about. We talk about the real concerns, what brought them to the point where they’ve reached out for help? Usually, there’s something that made them say, “I can’t do this alone anymore. I need to talk to somebody.” They come to me because they’ve got into that point. I asked, “What got you to this point,” “What brought you to my door?” Usually, there all kinds of other issues that are tied to that. In our exploration of the feelings and allowing them to be in a space of grace, giving them plenty of light and air. The feelings start to dissipate, and they start feeling better right away because all the feelings want is to be acknowledged, just as a person and said, “Yes, I see you, I hear you, I understand.”
It’s saddening for me still after all these years of work, how few people feel seen, heard, listened to acknowledged, and understood. They feel ignored and shunted aside neglected, betrayed, abandoned. I know what that’s like. I’ve experienced all of those things. I have nothing but empathy for people who are caught in that but I stand in a space of, “I am standing in faith that you are fine the way you are. I am standing in faith that whatever is going on with you, you can handle it, you will find a way.” People become immensely resourceful when their back is up against the wall. “I have faith that going forward, as you start projecting the future that you want, as opposed to the future that you don’t want, you start creating it.” One of the things in quantum physics that I found is the physicist, John Wheeler talks about how atoms are not tiny little things.
They are tiny little tendencies, and they can be moved by thought, by emotional energy, and by the power of intention. When you start directing all of your atoms, emotional energy and attention toward what you want and away from what you do not want, what you’re hoping to avoid, we’re able to start moving forward with a feeling of faith and confidence that somehow this is going to be handled. It’s important to realize that every day of our lives is a faith walk. Sometimes it seems to be more certain than they are, while we’re having this conversation. In fact, every day is different. All of us are past masters at navigating the unknown. We’ve done it every day of our lives and we’re still here. The proof is in your own life. You wake up most mornings and you think, “This is how the day is going to go.”
Sometimes you’re right and sometimes you get surprised. Sometimes in a way that feels good and sometimes in a way that feels bad, but, “It’s a surprise. I didn’t see that coming.” That can often bring us to two possible responses to the unexpected, the surprise. It can be either, “I can’t handle this. This is new, this is unfamiliar. I don’t know how to handle this. What do I do?” There’s another more resourceful way to approach the surprise by saying, “That’s a surprise. Now, what do we do?” Instead of even going into the why, because you can make yourself crazy looking for why something happened. Stuff just happens sometimes. I’m sure on some level, on a very cosmic universal level, it all has a rhyme and reason.
There’s all a big wheel, creation or tapestry of creation where every little thread, every little individual, every point of light has its purpose and meaning and the divine design. Most of that is way outside our realm of perception, that the picture is much too big for us to see. Instead of saying, “Why this? Why that?” Demanding justification, demanding reasons why this happened is a way of withholding forgiveness from life. A way of saying, “I’m not going to accept you until you tell me exactly what you’ve got in mind here.” I believe with the Zen people say, “Why ask why?”
It’s just something to satisfy your ego-mind, which is judging whatever’s going on as bad or wrong because it’s different from what you had in mind. It’s different from what you thought was going to happen. Instead of saying, “Why?” I find it much more useful to say, “Here we are. Now, what?” There’s always that element when we’re surprised that we’re thrown into mourning or grief. I see a lot of that in the world. People are thrown into mourning for the way things used to be. Even if they didn’t like, “What was going on before?” in retrospect, it seems much better than, “What’s going on now?”When you observe something, it automatically starts to heal. Click To Tweet
The whole idea that I’m only going to accept this after it has been reasoned, made sense of, parsed, and justified in a way that I personally find acceptable. It keeps you from taking action. It keeps you from forgiving yourself for being caught by surprise, “I should have foreseen this.” It keeps you from forgiving life or catching you flat-footed. It keeps you from forgiving your future for betraying you by not being what you had in mind. These all undermine your confidence. These all undermine your faith, that unforgiveness toward yourself, toward life, toward your future. The endpoint of all forgiveness processes, it seems to me is you get to the point of acceptance. It’s not that you love what happened or that you embrace it, or you find the blessing and that all the junk that you’re dealing with, but it’s to say, “This is what is right now. Now, what?”
I understand that when people come to you, this is the process that you take them through. What I’m hearing is that it’s that people who don’t have access to you for whatever reason, and we’re looking for you to save their day-to-day, is that the first thing they can do is stop trying to justify how they feel or feel that they should or should not feel the way. The first thing to do is to sit down and acknowledge, “This is how I feel.” There’s a Peace process, that Christian Mickelson teaches, and there are other processes, but basically, it’s just to come to that point of more of acceptance of, “I’m allowed to have these feelings.”
Cary Grant wouldn’t have these feelings or Indiana Jones or somebody wouldn’t feel this way. Therefore, I’m not supposed to feel it. The phrase I use that I thought was delightful is, “Don’t take someone else’s highlight reel and then pin that on your day-to-day or your lowest points.” Indiana Jones and Cary Grant are fictitious characters. Cary Grant said in his 50s, “If that everybody wants to be Cary Grant, I want to be Cary Grant.” It was a branding thing. We do aspire to be that, but when we’re not having those Cary Grant or Ryan Reynolds, we’re not having those things. One of the delightful things for those who’ve seen the Avengers movies is, Iron Man’s pretty neurotic for a lot of it.
He’s second-guessing himself and making mistakes right and left and feeling bad about it, then overcompensating. The whole Civil War movie is just him, “I blew it with this one thing. Now, I’m going to bent over backwards.” He keeps trying to be right when he knows he’s wrong. Seeing examples of that can help us understand that, “I’m not happy with the situation that I’m in this moment. I’m not responding to it in a way that I feel justified who I am, who I want to be. I’m in guilt, denial, upset, anger, feeling like I have no control over things. All of those situations from what I’m hearing from you, Moira, the first thing to do is acknowledge that. Let that take place. When your body’s in pain, what you want to do is, “I’m in pain. What is it? It’s a splinter.” All I have to do is take the splinter out. The second step is after we’ve acknowledged it is to accept it, allow it. Tell me what you would say in second?
“I accept that this is what it is.” “I accept myself as I am.” “I accept that this situation is my reality right in this moment.”
Once we do that, the phrase that we always use is, “This is what’s in front of me. What do I want to do with it?” “Where do I want to go from here?” “Who do I want to be?” “What do I want to experience?” Sometimes we want to be an old man. Sometimes we want to just laugh. One of the things that I teach people a lot is, no matter what happened, if it didn’t turn out the way that you want to get to, without going into all the crazy analysis again, you also said, “Don’t do?” You don’t what, and the response that we like is, “Whoops,” and then with that, it’s all gone. We go, “What do I want to do now? Where do I want to go?” I’ve pinned myself in this corner, “Whoops.”
I want to rise to the challenge. I want to cut a hole in the back wall and get out. Whatever it is that we want to do next, I feel that that’s a very empowering thing you recognize that, “This is where I am. Now, I get to decide what do I want to do next?” Let’s talk about that for a little bit, because a lot of people mistakenly believe that their habits of responses are built-in that that’s hard-wired into their system and they can’t change. “I am upset at this,” and justify being upset at this. They’re caught in that loop and can’t move forward. How do you address that?
You said it yourself asking, “What do I want instead?” It’s so easy to think that how we think is the way we’re always going to think and that the way we feel is how it’s always going to be. The brain is lazy like that. It doesn’t want to have to do any extra work to do a projection or, “If I do this,” and that will probably happen a little foresight apply there. It’s just easier for a lazy brain, which most of us have bad is hard-wired is to say, “What’s the easiest thing to do here?” That is to say, “This is just how I am and I’m powerless to change it. I don’t know if I’m okay with that, but that is so.” As is so often the case that is a decision rather than a fact.
It can be so empowering to realize, “I decided that this is the way that I am.” What if I decided that I want to be something else that I want to feel another way? We’re in the driver’s seat here. There is nobody making us feel a certain way, but us. There’s nobody out there manipulating us or puppet master or anything like that. “I’m going to do this thing. You’re going to feel terrible and your life will suck,” nobody is doing that. We often do that to ourselves. That can go back to childhood, generations, behavior that’s in the DNA, as well as in the environment, which can reinforce our tendencies.
It’s understandable in cases like that to feel, “I’ve always been depressed. I’m just a depressive person. That’s just how it is. My mother and my father before me and my grandfather and my great grandfather, were just a depressed family, basically.” That’s a decision because this is your life. You have the power. You are in the driver’s seat. You get to decide. “I wonder if I could find out what it was like to be happy. I wonder if I could find out what it feels like to feel safe. I wonder if I can find out what it feels like to feel confident,” because we tend to intellectualize things.
We make decisions based on emotions and we justify them afterward with our minds. We intellectually come up with, “I did it because of this or because of that,” but we make decisions based on how we feel most of the time, what our emotions are? It has good points and bad points. If you’re making a radical decision while you’re in a bad mood, you may not make the best irrevocable decision. Thankfully, most decisions are not irrevocable. Things change. They can be revisited, revised, renegotiated.
Nothing is forever in the mortal world, but to come to that decision, and that’s one of the things that I found about confidence and faith in oneself and in the world is that it’s a decision. It’s not something that you just have, or you don’t have. It’s something that you can cultivate. It’s a skill that you can learn. If it’s important enough to you to realize, “I’m going to be more effective in the world. I’m going to get better results. I’m going to be able to create the future I want if I go forward in faith, if I start cultivating more trust in myself.”The endpoint of all forgiveness processes is acceptance. Click To Tweet
I understand the difficulty people have with trusting themselves because all of us have made decisions in our lives that we look back on and think, “What was I thinking? How could I possibly have chosen that?” Which makes us second guess ourselves. When future decisions of a like nature are to be made and think, “I’m not good at this, I don’t know what to do so I’m not going to do anything,” which is one of the worst things you can do. When you say, “I’m going to do anything, I’m just going to let this thing play out.” It usually gets shoved into a corner with 1 or 2 dreadful options that you didn’t like either of them, but because you did not take action sooner, those may be the only options available from your point of view.
The only options you are able to perceive, there are always more options. We live in a universe of infinite possibilities. If you think these are the only options because of the only ones you can see, you’re going to make those choices based on insufficient data. It’s a practice which Sherlock Holmes decries and says, “Never make decisions in advance of all the data.” The cool thing is we never have all the data, but we can choose to trust that in this one, we have enough to be getting on with. We have enough information to take the next step. It comes down to trusting ourselves. “What does the next right step look like to me?” “What would I like it to be?” “What would I like my next right step to be?” It’s not we’re out of control, but we have no choice.
You covered so many things that I’m thinking I should not get into. One is, you talked about the lazy brain. I feel that a lot of people when they hear the term, lazy, the brain passes judgment on it because we’ve been taught to be workaholics by society. I want to point out that the lazy brain is part of nature and from physics, nature always takes the path of least action. We want to take the path of least action. That’s natural for us to do that. Don’t bother, even when you hear the word lazy, there’s emotional content and judgmental content.
I could have phrased that better. I like the way you say it. We like the least resistance.
This is something that society that people talked about, the lazy brains so I’m glad you brought it up. The other thing is the realization, there’s nobody looking over it. We’re not in kindergarten anymore. We’re not in first grade. We’re not in a stage where somebody is looking over our shoulder telling us we’re not printing the letter correctly. There’s nobody telling us that the homework wasn’t right. Unfortunately, after more than a decade of education, closer to two people are used to the habit of, “Who’s calling shots? Who do I have to please? Whose mind do I have to change to move forward?” One of the things that we like to do is remind people that it’s your life you get to do. You have permission to make the decisions. At that point where you’re talking about that moment, where we’re looking at, “What happened? I’m overwhelmed,” or whatever that crisis moment is, that dramatic, the first thing is to recognize that, to empower ourselves to recognize that, “I can make a decision.”
I might have a partner. I might want to ask some people their advice, but the first thing is I’ve got to make a decision. I love what you said, “What if I decide to be happy?” “What if I decide to enjoy my life? What would that look like?” One of the things that I want to bring out is the first action step. Once we make a decision that, “I’m depressed, my parents were depressed, my grandparents were depressed.” I think that’s been enough depression. Let’s turn that around. The first thing to do is, “I know this is what I’ve been doing. I don’t want to do this anymore.”If you're making a radical decision while you're in a bad mood, you may not make the best irrevocable decision. Click To Tweet
We need to explore and find out and gather more information. The first action step may be to ask everybody we know, “How do you stop being depressed? What are the steps that I need to take?” Sometimes the first action step when make that decision and that decision that you’re saying, “We’re half self-doubts we’re coming in and can I do it?” It is just what I love about your book, who shows up to you is people looking for answers. We want to encourage everybody, the first thing to do is ask the question, “What do I need to do?” I know you have health issues for a long time.
I once met whose son had cancer. It was when my son had cancer in the hospital, he had taken his son to 24 doctors before he decided on the treatment. Most people don’t do that. Most people will whoever they go to first as who they believe, maybe they’ll get a second opinion, barely a third, and nobody gets twenty opinions. What his options were so much better because he did that. If you say, “I’m depressed,” and you go to a doctor, “Here’s Prozac, here’s this and that, here’s the other thing,” maybe that’s it.
Truthfully, maybe you’re depressed because there’s an imbalance, but maybe what you need is carrots. Let’s assume that at this point, people have acknowledged their feeling. You’ve come to peace with it. They’re more accepting of it. They’re making that decision of what they want to do. There’s still shaky about, “Can I do this or not?” They start doing the action and you want to build their confidence in themselves and their faith. What’s the next step that you would encourage someone to take internal or external?
There are a couple of practices that I offer to people so that helps them to feel more confident quickly. It’s important to recognize that there are certain degrees of confidence that can only be tapped into by taking action. The tendency so often is to wait until you feel 100% confident before you take action. Since I’ve never met anybody who feels 100% confident all the time, you’re going to have a very long wait and you’re going to be sitting there and thinking, “What happened to my future while I was waiting for my confidence to start boosting up?”
Part of it comes to the decision, “I’m going to cultivate more confidence and I’m going to do one action that I feel 51% confident that I can do.” If you’re 51% confident that you can pull off the step that you’re looking to do, you’re good to go. You will learn something along the way. However, it plays out. You may learn, “I waited my whole life to do this. Why didn’t I start this sooner? This is awesome,” or you may take the step and realized, “That is so not what I had in mind.” That’s one more option that I can take off the table because we can get confused by too many options. I realize, “That’s a nonstarter.” “You’ve cleared the deck a little bit.” You’re free to take action to see, “Let’s do this and see how this is going to work.” One of my teachers, Christopher Howard, talks about approaching, taking steps to start creating a new future, a new life, a new job, a new anything for yourself is to approach it with a feeling of wild experimentation.
“Let’s just do this and see what happens.” That takes a fair amount of confidence to even come to that mentality. That is where I help people to do with techniques and tools to start cultivating more confidence from the inside out. I believe that confidence is actually our natural state of being. I have met very few five-year-olds who did not know that they were all that in the bag of chips. They just knew, but as they get older, something or someone crushes their spirit, or they have an experience that’s overwhelming to them and they haven’t been able to cope. They start doubting their ability to cope with, to handle anything. It happens. That’s understandable.
Often as we get older, confidence becomes less and less as we have a bigger history of mistakes, missteps, looking back and saying, “I wish I’d taken that other road.” Entirely, forgetting that road might not have worked out either. It might’ve taken you in a direction that you did not like at all. One of my favorite sayings is, “Life’s rejections are God’s protections.” If something did not work out, it’s because A, either something better is waiting for you right around the corner so just hang on. B, you’re being protected from a painful consequence that you were unable to foresee from where you stood when you made that choice.
I like that a lot because there’s this whole thing about regrets, which doesn’t help at all. I completely concur with you. I’ve run into this a lot of people with the guidance and information that I get. It’s like, you have no idea what you were protected from that thing that you were dreaming about didn’t work out. I had one friend, he was offered to try out for an acting role when he was a kid, it was for a TV show in the 60s. His parents wouldn’t let him. When he was talking about it at that time, he could say that, “That would have been great.”
Later on, looking back, he said he was so grateful that it didn’t happen because the person who got the role ended up getting famous at a very early age, then having a whole bunch of problems feeling the world, getting heavily into drugs and all of this and having a not very happy life. When I met the man, he’s been going from happy to more happiness because he made the choice. I’ve known him for many years before I found out that up until nineteen, he was on the wrong side of the tracks in life. One bad decision after another.
He was one of the classiest most well-integrated business-wise, successful, wonderful family, everything. When you look at his history that would have led you to believe at any point before he was nineteen, there’s once in life that he aggressively decided to have and chose and handpick, “I want to be like this person.” He started cultivating that. The reason I’m using this example is we can all do it no matter where we are now. I love what you’re bringing up because these are great action steps to start with. What else you got?
I’ve got a couple of techniques that I’d love to share to help you feel more confident fast. When they’re 51% sure that they can pull it off, but they’re still just can’t quite get there yet. It’s okay. Here are a couple of things you can do. One of them involves tapping your thymus, which is the little gland on your breastbone and your sternum. That’s about 3 or 4 inches below your throat. If you just have up and down the breastbone, you’ll find a place where you suddenly take a deep breath, your muscles relaxed and you feel, “There’s something tender and sensitive here.” We tap the thymus because it makes you feel safe. It’s hard to feel confident if you don’t feel safe. This is a gateway into quick confidence. It is the feeling of safety.
I’ve met so many people who’ve never felt safe in their lives. That’s one of the biggest challenges in terms of gaining more confidence, because without feeling safe, how could you possibly feel confident? A couple of ways to tap the thymus is just tap it very gently with just a couple of fingertips. It’s a very tender little gland. I find it works best if you just tap the air right in front of it. The energy of your fingers is tapping the energy of the thymus. That creates a feeling of safety in the moment and realizing, “I don’t know what comes next, but here in this moment, I am okay. Here in this moment, nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong with me.” That brings a sense of inner peace and safety that people tap into very quickly by tapping the thymus.If you're 51% confident that you can pull off the step that you're looking to do, you're good to go. Click To Tweet
One of the advantages is when you get to make clear decisions that it’s easier that we’re not in that panic moment.
I’ve taught this technique to people and they use it when the plane is taking off, they use it when they’re about to go on stage and do a presentation. They use it when they’re getting ready to go in and have a conversation that they think might be difficult. There are many ways and occasions where you can use that feeling of safety because if you anticipate a threat or attack, that can shake your confidence and you’re not going to be effective. You’re not going to be able to stand true to yourself. You’re not going to be able to stand strong in the moment. When you feel safe in yourself, when you feel safe in your body, you can go forward with more confidence knowing that, “I am okay right here, right now. I can choose to be okay however this thing plays out.”
It gives you the peace to move forward. The other piece that I like to recommend that people seem to respond well to is, when you’re feeling downhearted, when you’re feeling full of self-doubt, when you’re looking at that 51%, “I think I can do this action,” and you’re not quite getting there or you just feeling lonely, lost, nobody cares or you’re in it alone. I’ve experienced all those things and I know everyone has at some point or another. When you have a low moment, one of the most healing things that you can do is stroke your forearms. Especially the skin on the inner side of the forearms, under the wrist, just very slowly and very gently, it activates the caring and nurturing circuits in your brain. You start feeling loved and cared for immediately.
What powers this stuff is if, while you’re stroking the forearms, you’re also saying to yourself the words that you wish somebody would say to you, like “It’s going to be okay,” or, “I love you just the way you are.” “I’m so proud of you.” When you’re able to give to yourself the loving words that somehow nobody’s ever gotten around to saying to you because they didn’t know to, they didn’t care to, or whatever reason you, you don’t have to go your life without hearing the words you long to hear. You can say them to yourself and they land in your nervous system. They take root in your neurocircuitry. When you say those loving words while stoking the forearms.
I want to bring out a couple more points. The reason that I want to bring that out is I want to emphasize that when you take it upon yourself to make the decision, even in a state of trauma, fear, overwhelm, or whatever’s going on, that there are solutions. If you look for them, you will find them. Google will help you a lot. Do you have a book or something you want to give to people that can help them? You had listed something, Your Confidence-Building Playbook: Three Power Moves to Share Your Gifts with The World. You have something you want to tell people to where they get that?
This is a booklet for people who are entrepreneurs and are looking to get their message out to a wider audience or people who would like to be entrepreneurs and don’t know how to get started and getting the word out about what they do, how to market or promote themselves. This guide book takes you through to three simple ways to take your vast storehouse of knowledge and distill it down into tiny little bits of valuable information and suggest different ways for you to get your message out to a wider audience, to a number of people. This is something for entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs. There seems to be more of those every day. This is called Your Confidence-Building Playbook: Three Power Moves to Share Your Gifts with The World.
It’s very easy and user friendly. It’s an entire workbook that will take you through the process of figuring out your first article, your first post, your first audio podcast, and what to do once you’ve got it going. I highly recommend it to people who are looking to get the word out on a larger scale from wherever they are in business, whether they’re thinking about starting or looking to expand further. They can find that at MoiraCanHelp.com. You will find the Your Confidence-Building Playbook: Three Power Moves to Share Your Gifts with The World as a guide book for your personal life, how to feel more confident in your personal life? Many other confidence-building resources all available to you.
I want to emphasize that once you make the decision to do something and then take any action, step forward, that’s 90% of it right there. You can find the resources if they’re available. I want to mention a couple of other conference building resources or things that you can do. One of the things that we offer is PeaceAndHarmonyDownload.com. We have a Peace and Harmony program. It’s a quantum energy program, completely silent. It’s a video you just played in the background, 24/7, including inner hostilities. It creates inner peace where it’s easier for you to move forward.
For those who want to have a bigger effect on the world, we sell more powerful systems that can affect your apartment building or your business, or your neighborhood, or your city, or community, or country, or the world. We have systems and it can do. We also have some other programs in PeaceAndHarmonyCo.com that can help better content for confidence. I’d love what you’d do Moira because you work one-on-one with people, you have a lot of information. That’s very powerful and valuable. I completely want to support that. There’s a flower essence called Borage, which is very good for building courage in people. You can find that wherever you can find flower essences.
For that family who have been depressed for generations, there’s a flower essence called Zinnia. They point out in it that humans can experience, can laugh at themselves, and sending it is all about bringing back the humor to the situation. You talked about one of the things when that ability to make a decision, “Do I want to be this person? Do I want to be in this direction?” We’ve had the experience where people come up and say, “Is it this way?” What we say to them is, “Pretend you can do it and see what happens,” just to help them move in that direction. I’m only giving these examples because there are lots of others. You have programs that people can work. Is it one-on-one with you or do you have group programs or just the books?
I do one-on-ones, I have the book, Love Your Way to Success. I’m in the process of turning Love Your Way to Success into a workshop series that will be available to people online.
We have a program called Forever In Flow, which is more about getting in flow, but it’s not necessarily the confidence building. There are other things out there. If you want it, you can get it. Maybe you find it the first time out. Maybe it’s the third time out, but talk to people, somebody you know, or somebody they know or look on the social media at simply ask the question, “My family has been depressed for fourteen generations. We don’t want to do it anymore. How do we stop?” Believe me, people will start giving you advice and some of it may not be useful.
The first fifteen may not be, but the sixteenth could turn your life around in exactly the way you’ve never dreamed of you’ve always wanted. I think having faith that you can do it. I was told by somebody that, “You’re never given more than you can handle.” I want to use the example of, we all have the ability, whatever the situation to do the equivalent of hitting the grand slam, the base loaded, at the end of the night, when three runs down, whatever is going on in your life, Moira was giving you some practical techniques meditation. There are so many things you can do. The reason that it’s important to us is you’ve had a life that was not so comfortable. We want everyone to be able to live their best life possible.Life's rejections are God's protection. Click To Tweet
Truthfully, we’ve reached the scientific age, especially with the advent of quantum mechanics where there’s simply no excuse anymore. If you want it, you should strive for it. If you don’t get it, you’re being protected and you’ll be getting something better. That action step, I love that 51%, it tends you can do it, see what happens, allow it to work is another big one, allow yourself to have it happen, allow yourself to go on stage. The fact that you went on stage at all, and whatever that means is a huge thing. I got through that. I didn’t get the standing ovation that I hoped for, or even I got laughed off the stage, but at least I went out there. I’ve experienced that, that actually wasn’t so bad. Maybe, I’ll tell jokes next time. That way when they laugh, it’s in my favor.
That’s one of the interesting paradoxes of many of our thoughts about confidence. We wait until we feel confident before we do something, but the confidence comes after we do it not before. You didn’t get the standing ovation, but what a victory you got on stage and you didn’t faint. You can declare victory and go home.
Making a decision of what you want and taking that first action step is there’s a phrase, ‘begins half done.’ It’s 90% of the success is right there in the beginning. We’re taking that train that’s fully loaded that’s been not moving, and to get it moving that’s where it takes. When we look at the rockets, all the energy is used to just get it off the launch pad. Once it’s in the air, they shift to some other rockets that are secondary rockets. The big boost is just to get started. We’re both encouraging you to make a decision, take an action step, move in the direction of the life that you want. Have faith that you can have it, have the confidence that you can do it and take the steps to build the faith, and build the confidence. I want to let you wrap up with anything that you want to say, anyway I can support you. Anything we haven’t covered that you’d like to bring up?
First, I want to say thank you for having me on the show. I’ve enjoyed our conversation and I hope we’ve brought value to the audience. I appreciate the opportunity to get this information out there. For our audience, what I would say is I believe in you, you’re greater than you know, you’ve got this.
I’m grateful that you’re here and sharing this with our audience. Maybe, at some point, we can have you back again and go a little bit more into detail. Let’s keep that open. I wish everyone in the audience to enjoy and be fulfilled and build confidence in yourself, have faith in yourself and have faith in the orderliness of the universe in whatever it is, God, Divine Mother, Shiva, whatever it is that you believe in, trust that you can have the life that you want. Thank you very much. We’ll talk again soon.
Thank you, David. I look forward to it. Take care.
“All our episodes are recorded using a sample of our peace and harmony program that can reduce tensions, end arguments, and create peace quickly. Try it for free at www.peaceandharmonydownload.com and enjoy your own pocket of peace!”
- Moira Shepard
- Love Your Way to Success: Five Keys to Confidence for Creative Women Entrepreneurs
- Your Confidence-Building Playbook: Three Power Moves to Share Your Gifts with The World
About Moira Shepard
Confidence Expert Moira Shepard received a calling to heal the world when she had been confined to bed by a back injury for seven years. The call jump-started her journey to a successful career helping coaches, healers, speakers and writers to build the confidence they need to share their gifts.
Her new book is Love Your Way to Success: Five Keys to Confidence for Creative Women Entrepreneurs.